DNA Tests

DNA Tests

Searching for family via DNA works! I found my maternal side and paternal side via DNA!  It took several years and lots of patience and lots of tenacity, but I could not have done it without DNA.

The method of spitting into a tube or swabbing one's cheek has proven an invaluable tool when confirming family members or if you are starting from square one. One does not have to be an expert to find family this way. Experts have the bandwidth to take on DNA cases and may know a little bit more about DNA, so they will charge up to $5,000 to help find your family by scouring through your matches. Search angels may have the same expertise and will not charge you anything, but they will not have the same stake as you in finding your family. Have no fear, you do not need to spend thousands of dollars on a search mission.  Also, many search angels will not understand Spanish and not feel confident about your case. 

Think of it like this: you have shared DNA with hundreds and hundreds of people via your matches and it is just a matter of connecting the dots and weeding out the bad matches. It is a matter of turning over every stone and learning along the way. You will inevitably hit some roadblocks and dead ends, but you will never know until you try.  Note, connecting with 2nd or 3rd cousins may not sound like fun but you will never know who has information that is helpful like who has the names of the children of your great grandparents (aka your grandparents!)

Here are some helpful tools:

DNA Companies: Increase your chances of finding a match by testing with several DNA companies. The 3 largest DNA databases in the world are:

Understand how DNA works: You don't have to be an expert in all things DNA but know that matches over 100CM or 1.3% are viable matches. Anything under these numbers will make it more difficult. The age of the person also should be taken into consideration, too. Thus, if you are 40 years old and have a match of 87CM with a person who is 18 years old and another match of 110CM with a person who is 85 years old, then that match of 87CM may be more valuable and helpful to you.  The “rule of thumb” is that the DNA doubles per generation. So, that match who is 18 years old may have parent or aunt or uncle whose DNA could 180CM and even more. That match may have a grandparent or great uncle who has a match of 400CM or more.

Understand how CM works and how trees look. It is helpful to write things down on paper or start building out your match’s trees. One site to check out is www.dnapainter.com.

DNA Match: When finding a match on any of the big three DNA sites, start off with a friendly simple message. Do not hit someone with “Help, I'm adopted!". That comes later. Try, simple messages, in English and Spanish:  Hi, I'm (name) and you are me are related somehow. How cool! I would love to find out how and exchange notes. Hola, soy (nombre) y tú estás relacionado de alguna manera. ¡Que chevre! Me encantaría saber cómo e intercambiar notas.

Social Media: Use various forms of social media to help you find your match and other family members. What happens when your match who you wrote does not respond? That is okay and maybe normal. Do some digging. Use the following social media websites:

  • Facebook

  • Instagram

  • Whitepages

  • LinkedIn

  • Twitter (X)

  • The whole internet. Colombian Adoptee’s story: “I googled my match’s name because they did not respond back to me in almost 2 years and I found their high school final exam paper online with their full name and from there, I went to Facebook. The rest is history.”

What to ask your DNA matches once you contact them:

  • Where are your ancestors from? (Just because you were in an orphanage in Bogotá doesn’t mean your parents or your grandparents were from Bogotá, too. People move around. Knowing cities and towns are very helpful in connecting the dots.

  • Who in your family is the keeper of family trees and/or who is the person in your family who knows about lost cousins or family members not seen in many years. Your DNA match from Miami, Florida who is 25 years old could not care so much about their ancestors, but there is someone, maybe a great uncle or a cousin, who is in Colombia and who may have a wealth of information.

Miscellaneous recommendations:

  • DNA sites have extra features which cost more. Buy them if you can. It is nice to know your matches, but DNA sites will hide your match’s trees which can be extremely helpful. Some sites have other information hidden like shared matches (beyond just the top 2 or 3).

  • Be prepared to send additional DNA kits to Colombia. You may have a good match, but that match is not your immediate family so what do you do now? You need to test additional people. Use www.fedex.com  in lieu of the common mail carrier, as mail sent overseas can and will get lost.  You will pay more but will have less headache in the long run.

  • The assumed paternal or maternal “sides” on sites like 23 and Me and Ancestry is bogus. It is a guess from the company. Do not rely on it.

  • Do not fret if your DNA matches do not have the same name as you do on your birth certificate. Sometimes, it is just a matter of names being changed via generations/marriage or it could be an infidelity that happened 30, 40, 50 or more years ago. Remember, DNA does not lie, but people and even whole institutions have been known to erase the past.

  • Do not rely on just last names as names in Colombia may be common enough to confuse you. For example, if you have a match who is a 2nd cousin, but you are not sure what side you are related to, you will need to ask if they have a family member from their mom’s side and their dad’s side who can take a DNA test. If they say that there are family members from both sides who can test but you have an inkling that it is from their dad’s side, do not make any assumptions. Get both sides to take a test to be 100% sure. Sometimes using deduction is just as good (this comes in handy more than you might think).

Have patience and ask for help! There are many folks who have some good experience in finding families. Sometimes we will find a gravesite, or sometimes we will find stories that are unimaginable at first. Please contact us for additional help and or clarification on any of the items above.

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